Paperdoll
by seethingviolet-VII
Summary: Slightly AU – my take on season 3 after the death of Kakistos. Buffy finds Faith in a compromising position and spiraling out of control. Can she stomach it? Can she help Faith out of the darkness? WARNING: Explicit scenes of sexual & physical abuse, rape, self harm, drug use. Italics mean flash back. Buffy/Faith pairing – don't like it? Don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Slightly AU – my take on season 3 after the death of Kakistos. WARNING: Explicit scenes of sexual & physical abuse, rape, self harm, drug use. _Italics_ mean flash back. Buffy/Faith pairing – don't like it? Don't read it.**

I Look At her In That Paper Dress.  
I Wonder Why She Won't Burn.  
She's Just A Paper Doll,  
That's All, Just A Paper Doll.  
I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down.  
They Try Her On For Size she Fits, Nice.  
One Size Fits All.  
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw,  
You Can Numb Her Pain  
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Face.  
But Don't Take Notice.  
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Arms.  
Please Don't Take Notice.  
I Know You Have Her Soul.  
(and) I See It In Your Eyes.  
She Knows You Have Her Soul.  
(and) She Sees It In Your Eyes.  
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw,  
WASH AWAY HER PAIN  
She Wants You To Eat Her Pain.  
She Wants You To Eat Her Remains

Paperdoll - Kittie

**Chapter 1**

Kakistos was dead. The source of her motivation to keep running for the last 6 months was gone. The scoobs had taken their insular little gang to a private celebration at the Watcher's house, somehow forgetting to invite Faith now that lives weren't in danger. She was all alone with nowhere to be but inside her own mind.

That's how Faith ended up crouched in the corner of her cheap motel room one hand wrapped around the leg of the dresser, one dug deep into the dirty polyester carpeting, trying to anchor herself to the present and failing terribly. While her body was in Sunydale her mind had traveled back to Boston, back to the night her Watcher had first found her.

_Faith had fucked up – again. Itching for a high but with no money to score she had gone looking for her regular dealer, always willing to trade his wares for Faith's body. She was down on her knees in the dank alley staring intently at Tony's waiting erection, recalling the first time she had ever seen the male member. _

_One of her mom's many boyfriends had found his way to her room one night after mom had passed out and he had grown bored of fucking her unresponsive body. Little Faith was startled awake by the weight of him on her bed, the stench of booze and cigarettes and something else that she would soon come to identify as the smell of sex and violence. His big hand covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. "Be a good girl for me and I won't tell your mommy what a whore you are…"_

_Faith was brought back from her memory when Tony slapped her across the face, getting impatient for her to take care of his hard need. He grabbed her roughly by her hair, forcing her mouth onto his cock. Just as she started gagging a loud voice shouted from the end of the alley "Get the FUCK off her you piece of shit!" this warning was closely followed by the distinct sound of a gun being cocked. Horny but not totally stupid, Tony quickly dropped her hair and took off at a run, not noticing as he dropped the dope Faith had been trying to earn._

_Forgetting the yelling and the gun for the moment Faith quickly scooped up the baggie and had her nose in it before that voice could even make it to where she was still kneeling. Just as Faith began to feel the effects of the cocaine traveling to her brain she became aware of a strong presence above her. Turning as quickly as her drug addled body would allow, Faith was greeted by the warm brown eyes of her Watcher for the first time._

She couldn't take it anymore, all the noise, all the pain, the guilt. Faith lunged from her crouched position violently pulling open the top drawers of her dresser. The bottle of Jack caught her attention first she unscrewed the lid and drank deeply. While the alcohol was still burning it's way down into her stomach Faith found her true objective, a sharp razor already crusted in her blood. Pulling off her leathers and sitting heavily on the bed Faith began pulling the sharp edge against her scarred skin, watching at the razor peeled her skin apart opening her up and letting all of the pain flow out from torn capillaries.

"Hey Faith! I thought you were going to follow us back to Giles's house, but you never showed. I realized that you were probably just sitting here by yourself so I brought over some pizza and…." Buffy's ramble was immediately cut off as she looked up from the carelessly unlocked door and saw Faith on the bed, blood flowing freely down her leg, blankly staring out into the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here you go Crimsonsiver – thanks for the review! Hope you enjoy Buffy's POV as much.**

**Chapter 2**

Kakistos was dead. Good riddance, he was one nasty piece of work.

Buffy felt like they had really shown Faith the value of team work tonight, maybe even bonded a little bit. Yes, she had been jealous of the second chosen at first but Buffy now knew that they could work side by side rather than competing for the top slaying position.

After leaving the warehouse everyone had instinctually headed back to Giles's house to debrief and celebrate. It was only when they were settling on to the comfy old couches in the living room that Buffy realized her sister slayer was missing in action.

"Where's Faith guys?" she asked.

"Well, um… didn't you invite her?" Willow asked with a scrunch of her brow.

"Uh, I guess I thought she would just know to come…" Buffy's thought trailed off as she realized her mistake. The last thing she wanted to do was further alienate Faith with any miscommunication.

"I'm gonna head out and check on Faith, invite her back with me."

"Alright Buffy, we'll try not to eat all the food before you get back!" Xander messily exclaimed around a mouthful of nachos.

* * *

After stopping for a large meat lover's pizza and some soda, Buffy made her way over to Faith's motel, pulling her coat more tightly to her body as she walked. Noticing her descent into the less savory side of Sunnydale Buffy decided to ask her mom if Faith could come to stay with them. This was no place for a 16 year old girl to be living. Especially not one as sweet, and pretty, and cool as Faith.

These are _totally _normal thoughts to have about your girlfriends, Buffy thought. Girlfriend as in a girl that is your friend. There was no way her brain would ever look at Faith in a less than heterosexual way. After all it wasn't Buffy's fault that she looked so good in her leathers…

Buffy's thoughts were interrupted as she almost walked into the side of the motel. She knocked on Faith's door, but didn't get any response. After knocking again, Buffy impatiently tried to sneak a peek under the door. It was then she noticed a sallow yellow light leaking out from under the door. Obviously Faith was home and didn't hear her knocking. Buffy tried the door knob and realized it was unlocked. Balancing the pizza and soda in one hand she turned the knob and let herself in.

"Hey Faith! I thought you were going to follow us back to Giles's house, but you never showed. I realized that you were probably just sitting here by yourself so I brought over some pizza and…." Buffy's ramble was immediately cut off as she looked up from the carelessly unlocked door and saw Faith on the bed, blood flowing freely down her leg, blankly staring out into the room.

"Holy shit! Faith!" Buffy exclaimed. She received no response from the seemingly comatose slayer.

Throwing the food to the floor and closing the door behind her Buffy swiftly made her way into the room. The coppery smell of blood permeated the air, underneath that was the stench of liquor the source of which was the bottle of Jack spilling onto the floor. Kneeling in front of the bed, Buffy put a shaking hand on Faith's cheek. Even her touch failed to evoke a response from the other girl.

Buffy ran into the bathroom and retrieved a cheap threadbare towel which she ripped into strips for a makeshift bandage. She wrapped the strips around Faith's lacerated leg as gently as she could, making sure to apply enough pressure to stem the flow of blood. She went back into the bathroom and grabbed a wet washcloth with which she began to wipe the crimson mess from Faith's thigh.

Weather it was Buffy's gasp or the touch of the cold washcloth she didn't know, but quite unexpectedly Faith jumped under her careful ministrations.

Looking down at her own leg, and the map of scars that had caused Buffy to gasp, Faith felt helpless for a moment. "Those are all from before I was called. I can't make them stay anymore" she said sadly.

Without thought Buffy crawled up onto the bed pulled Faith into her arms and began rocking her back and forth. Exhausted physically and mentally this is how the girls fell asleep.

**AN: Up next, slayer dreams! Buffy begins to see the horror of Faith's past and the extent of her self loathing.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you for the positive reviews! I want to reiterate my WARNING with this chapter. Graphic sexual & physical abuse. Could be triggering.  
**

**Chapter 3**

Buffy opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by an almost palpable darkness. Her senses told her that she wasn't alone. She heard the even breathing of someone deeply asleep in front of her, and the erratic heartbeat of someone who was very afraid behind her.

"Whatever you see, no matter how horrible, just remember I lived it." Faith rasped from somewhere behind her.

Suddenly the darkness was pierced by a sliver of light as the door was opened. Buffy could see a small child asleep in a narrow bed. Her eyes adjusting to the small amount of illumination, Buffy could make out that she was clutching a care worn teddy bear in her little arms, and was covered with a sad excuse for a blanket. Before she could even begin to think about Faith's cryptic statement or who exactly this little girl was someone staggered into the room.

He brought with him the stench of alcohol and Buffy felt the air around her thicken, making it hard to breathe. The man made his way drunkenly to the bed clamping his hand down around one little arm. The girl woke screaming. He slapped her hard across her face. "Shut up whore!" He moved his hand from her arm to her throat and slammed the little girl into the bed.

Buffy tried to move, to run over and grab the girl, but strong arms wrapped around her from behind holding her in place. "You can't change this, all you can do is watch and learn from it." Faith whispered.

The scene on the bed had gotten uglier. The man had ripped away the little girl's panties and was thrusting one of his huge fingers inside of her. The little girl had started screaming again, but it fell on deaf ears. He took his hand off of her throat and used it to unzip his pants and pull out his cock. He roughly grabbed her small hand and wrapped it around himself, forcing her to pump up and down along his length. It looked huge in her tiny fist. Buffy was sobbing, shaking uncontrollably, desperately trying to escape the arms that only increased in their strength while she struggled.

Just as magically as they had appeared in the dank little room, the scene shifted and suddenly they were in a living room. It was daylight, the sun streaming in through the dirty windows of the tiny apartment. The little girl was sitting on the couch watching cartoons. She was still clutching the teddy bear, her only comfort in this place. Her arms were bruised, her brown eyes were sunken in, and her belly was rounded in the way only hunger could make it.

A short, skinny brunette entered the room. She was in a filthy white tank top and cut off shorts. Bruises were visible on all four limbs; lipstick was smeared across her face. "You little bitch!" She screamed, throwing a half empty beer bottle at the little girl. It shattered on the coffee table; slivers of glass flew and hit her in the face.

As blood slowly trickled down the girl's forehead, Buffy began struggling once again. Those vice like arms held her still, forcing her to stay and watch this horror unfold.

"How dare you take what's mine! I know you like the attention he gives you. I know how good he makes you feel. You don't deserve him! You are nothing, no one!"

She grabbed the little girl's wrist and flung her to the floor. She roughly pulled the shirt from the girls back. "You know what little whore's like you deserve don't you Faithy?"

Buffy gasped, trying to catch a glimpse of the silent girl behind her, but the arms held her fast in place.

The woman had taken off her belt. Little Faith was kneeling on the floor with her head bowed. Suddenly, and without warning, the belt tore into skin. The woman struck her with the belt over and over until welts became open wounds. Blood was trailing down her back before the woman was through.

When it was finally over little Faith slumped onto her side and pulled her legs to her chest in the fetal position. Buffy's sobs and screams had become nothing but hoarse cries. She too had ended up on the floor with her legs pulled to her chin, crying wordlessly at the abuse she had just witnessed.

* * *

Buffy woke to the feeling of a warm body pressed against her. In their sleep the slayers had become wrapped up in each other with Buffy spooning Faith from behind. Buffy looked at the strong back in front of her, comparing it to that of the frail girl from her dream. It was then that Buffy noticed the scars. Small white v's marked the skin exposed by Faith's tank top. Marks from the belt buckle, left by Faith's mother. Choking back a sob, Buffy pressed her lips to a scar on Faith's left shoulder.

Faith woke up to the feeling of someone pressed against her, kissing her shoulder. She knew she was trapped, and she fought her way free of the covers running to the other end of the room. She fell into a protective crouch and began rocking back and forth. Buffy slowly got out of bed, holding her arms in front of her in a gesture of supplication. She took several steps forward watching Faith's ragged breathing and noting her dilated pupils.

"Faith, it's ok. It's me, Buffy. We're here in your hotel room in Sunnydale. Kakistos is dead, and you are safe. Here, with me." She rambled carefully making her way over to Faith, making sure not to startle her.

She laid a gentle hand over Faith's wrist, and pulled the other girl into her. It was only then that Faith finally broke down. Looking into Buffy's eyes she allowed herself to be pulled into strong arms. She allowed herself to feel safe enough to cry. Buffy lifted Faith easily, and carried her back over to the bed. Never breaking physical contact she moved to the top of the bed, leaned her back against the head board, and settled Faith into her lap.

She rubbed soft circles on Faith's back, and whispered words of comfort until Faith's shaking began to dissipate. Laying a soft kiss on the crown of the brunette's head Buffy swore, "No one will ever hurt you again. Not as long as I'm with you. And you're not getting rid of me now. Not ever." Sighing contentedly, Faith fell into a deep and restful sleep. The first she had had in years.

**AN: Don't worry, we're not at the end yet. It couldn't be this easy for Buffy & Faith, plus there have to be some slayer sexy times in the future.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Buffy woke with the weight of Faith's head still on her lap. Her fingers were tangled in thick brunette waves. Breathing deeply, she took in a scent that was part blood, part leather and most definitely Faith. Sighing, she realized that for the first time since Angel, she felt something. What that something was, Buffy wasn't ready to explore.

Her thoughts of haunted chocolate eyes, scars and screams were interrupted by a knocking on the door. Feeling incredibly protective of the sleeping brunette, Buffy's slayer senses kicked into over drive. Gently moving Faith out of her lap, Buffy silently stalked towards the door. Crouching into a fighting stance Buffy yanked open the door ready to strike out at whatever threat awaited her.

"Whoa! Buff, no need to look so mean, "Xander proclaimed backing away from the scary slayer slowly.

"What are you doing here Xander, it's not long past dawn?"

"Well, you never showed with Faith back at Giles's last night. We were worried, I offered to try and find you lovely ladies this morning. So, here I am."

Remembering the fragile and sleeping girl on the other side of the door, Buffy knew she had to get rid of Xander. "Well, you've found us. You've seen that we're alive and well. Now, it's time for you to go and leave us to our girlie bonding."

"Ah, girl stuff. I get it. I'll just take my manly self and go." Xander smiled at her, giving a small wave as he walked away.

Buffy, returned to the little room making sure to lock the door behind her. Faith was sitting up in bed, the sheet pulled over her naked legs. "Thank you for getting rid of him. Not really ready to face the scoobs today."

"It's alright Faith. We need to get cleaned up, and talk about what we're going to do next."

Walking into the bathroom, Buffy turned on the shower making sure the water was just the right temperature. She yanked the sheet off of the still sitting Faith, and smoothly scooped the girl up carrying her into the bathroom. Sitting Faith on the edge of the tub, Buffy cautiously started unwrapping the bandage from her thigh. Stiff with blood, it was stuck to the scabs in some parts. Grimacing, she decided that she had to just rip it off quickly like a band aid. Faith didn't make a sound. Not surprisingly the wounds were already closed.

"See, I told you that I can't make them stay anymore," Faith said softly. Not willing to beet Buffy's intense gaze.

Buffy started unconsciously tracing the network of scars on Faith's legs. She noticed the direction of Faith's stare, and saw what her fingers were doing. As Buffy made eye contact with her fingers on Faith's skin her perspective suddenly and jarringly shifted.

* * *

She was staring down at long toned legs. Olive skin was pitted and covered in road bumps of white and pink scars. She felt self-loathing so intense that she literally wanted to crawl out of her own skin, was willing to do anything to escape. It was then she noticed the razor clenched tightly in her fist, digging into the palm of her hand and starting to draw blood. Without conscious thought her hand came down, ferociously drawing the blade against taught skin. As the blood left her body, so did she - finally free.

* * *

Gasping for air and disoriented beyond words, Buffy found herself looking up into questioning eyes; tears were pouring from her own. "Oh God, Faith… after last night I thought I understood. But I didn't. I had no idea what you were feeling. What made you do it. I just felt everything. Saw everything. Our slayer connection I think."

Faith looked away, shame burning from the pit of her stomach up to her reddened cheeks. Buffy knew. She saw so much. Felt so much. Why would anyone, especially someone as perfect as the blonde, still be sitting here? Why was Buffy crying, fingers still gently soothing her scars both old and new? She should be disgusted by Faith, running for the hills.

Buffy moved her right hand slowly, fingers tracing the underside of Faith's chin and forcing eye contact. "Faith, look at me. This may be the first time you've ever heard this, but I promise it won't be the last. You are incredible, strong, beautiful, and deserving of love. More deserving than anyone I've ever known."

Green eyes seared into brown, trying to convey the honesty behind her words. Still seeing doubt and so much pain staring back at her, Buffy did the only thing she could. She brought her lips slowly to Faith's never breaking eye contact and seeking permission the whole time. At first Faith was too stunned to move, but as she felt Buffy's warm lips ghosting over hers, not taking anything but asking for permission to give everything, she melted. Groaning at the pleasure of such a simple touch, Faith leaned into the kiss, lightly sucking on Buffy's bottom licking, seeking entrance into her mouth. Buffy happily obliged, allowing Faith to guide the kiss and explore Buffy's sweet mouth at her own pace.

Reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, Buffy stands up on weak legs and gestures to the steaming shower. "I think it's time to get cleaned up. And then we can get some breakfast and talk."

"Alright, Buffy. Thank you." As Buffy closed the door, a small but genuine smile graced Faith's beautiful lips for the first time in a long time.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Bit of fluff here. Lots of dialogue to start, but there's a small reward at the end. Thanks to everyone reading and following this fic.

**Chapter 4**

By the time Faith was done showering Buffy had straightened up the motel room and was patiently waiting on the bed. "Alright, I don't know about you but this day old pizza isn't gonna do it for me. Let's go find some food!" Buffy grabbed Faith by the hand and practically dragged her from the room. She decided to bring Faith to a little bagel place downtown. As she didn't drive to the motel and Faith didn't have a car, they had a nice walk ahead of them.

Buffy maintained her grip on Faith's hand. It was warm and soft except for the growing callouses from handling wooden stakes every night. This felt so right she wasn't willing to let go just yet. She could see that Faith was deep in thought, her chocolate eyes hidden behind unruly hair that had fallen in her face. "What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked. This garnered her no response, Faith had drifted somewhere else. Buffy stopped walking and gently tugged on Faith's hand.

Stumbling to a stop Faith was brought out of her thoughts. "Oh hey Buffy, are we there?"

"No Faith, not quiet. But I noticed you had disappeared into your head and I wanted to make sure you're ok."

"I'm five by five, like always. You know me."

"I'm not buying the five by five thing. What does that mean anyway?!"

"Well, I'm just thinking about last night. And this morning, in the bathroom. Intense, you know?"

"Yeah, it was. I meant what I said this morning though. You're amazing and I'm not going anywhere."

"It's just really hard for me to believe that after everything I've been through. People either hurt me or leave me, they don't stick around long."

"I guess I'll just have to prove you wrong."

Buffy squeezed Faith's hand and continued on to the bagel shop.

"Faith we need to talk." Buffy could see Faith shutting down at those five small words. "It's nothing bad. I just don't think you should be all alone in that motel. I want you to come and stay with me and mom."

"I'm fine by myself Buffy. I always have been."

"Well, I'm not fine without you. I would feel a lot better with two slayers watching out for my mom. Sunnydale hasn't always been kind to her."

Faith couldn't come up with a good way to say no to that one. 'No attachments Faith. This is how you got in trouble in the past.' She was at war with an inner voice, but somehow Buffy was able to hear it in spite of the silence. "Faith, you can leave any time. I just want to try it for a while. I'm not gonna tie you down or anything."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Read my mind!" Faith couldn't help but grin.

* * *

After finishing up a carb-licious breakfast the girls walked back to Buffy's house to propose the roommate situation to Joyce.

"Buffy, you really should have talked to me before inviting someone to live with us." Joyce said sternly.

Both slayers were seated on the couch watching Joyce pace the living room floor.

"However, I do not like the idea of Faith living alone in that… place. And I would feel better knowing you always had another slayer at your back Buffy. There will be rules though."

After Joyce agreeing to their proposal both girls tuned out and began thinking about how much they were looking forward to living together.

* * *

That night after saying good night to Joyce, the slayers went out on a join patrol. They were busy as soon as they entered the first cemetery. Several newbies were rising tonight and they took turns dusting them as soon as their chests emerged from the ground. After dusting five vamps – 3 Buffy, 2 Faith – they sat down on top of a crypt.

Buffy pulled Faith's free hand into her own, rubbing soft circles with her thumb. "I never got what you meant before, about the hungry and horny thing. But tonight…" she trailed off.

"Oh yeah?" Faith waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah." Buffy leaned in slowly, afraid of scaring Faith off. Faith on the other hand had no such hesitations; she quickly closed the gap between them. She crashed her lips into Buffy's licking and nibbling the plump bottom lip. Buffy gasped in surprise and Faith took advantage of the opening presented to her by thrusting her tongue into Buffy's waiting mouth.

Neither girl had ever been kissed quiet like this. They were consuming each other, drinking in the very essence of the other slayer. One of Buffy's hands was cupping the back of Faith's head, fingers twisted into dark tresses pulling the dark slayer as close as possible. Her other hand was wandering down Faith's back, fingers met flesh and Buffy moved her hand up under Faith's black beater. She traced the map of scars laid out before her, soothing with the pads of her fingers and exciting with soft scratches.

Faith's hands were rhythmically gripping Buffy's hips in time with her thrusting tongue. She couldn't get enough of the pale goddess before her. She pulled Buffy down onto the ground into a standing position and roughly shoved her up against the wall of the crypt. One of them moaned, maybe both, Faith couldn't tell who the noise had come from. She insinuated her leather clad thigh in between Buffy's, giving her some much needed friction. Buffy couldn't help but grind her pelvis into Faith's, mutual warmth radiating from their cores. She nipped Faith's pulse point eliciting a deep growl from her dark counterpoint. She took full advantage as Faith dropped her head back, revealing a long column of olive skin. Buffy licked and nipped her way up and down both sides of Faith's throat.

Faith's hands began tracing patterns on Buffy's abdomen, causing muscles to ripple and spasm. She brought her hand down between their bodies, cupping Buffy through her jeans. Buffy gasped, she wanted this so bad but knew they had to slow down. "Faith, wait. Slow down" she panted.

Faith instantly backed away, obviously hurt. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no words came out. She jammed her hands in the pockets of her jacket and started walking away.

Shaking herself into action Buffy ran after the brunette. "Faith, stop! Don't you dare run away on me." She grabbed Faith by the wrist and turned her around. "Look at me Faith." She waited for the other girl to look up and meet her eyes. When she could finally tell she had Faith's full attention Buffy continued, "I meant that I wanted to slow down. But I do want you. I want you so bad it literally hurts. But I don't want to be some cheap fuck in a cemetery. I deserve better. YOU deserve better. Our first time is going to mean something to both of us."

Faith felt unbidden tears trickle down her face. No one had ever cared enough to stop before. No one had ever wanted anything special with her. She was overwhelmed by the honesty and caring in Buffy's eyes. "I'm so sorry Buffy. Of course you deserve better than this. And we can wait. I can wait, because you're worth it." She took Buffy's hand in hers, a now familiar warmth radiating up her arm, and started walking home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

One of Joyce's most serious rules was that Faith start attending school regularly. Faith wasn't thrilled with the situation, but in exchange for three squares and sleeping across the hall from one stunning blonde she was willing to suck it up. Buffy and Faith shared fifth period history class, and it just so happened that Buffy convinced her to actually attend class instead of sneaking into the supply closet and make out.

"Class, I have a very exciting announcement today. In light of your remarkably high GPA this semester, the school has decided to send us to Boston! We will get to see some amazing history first hand, including the famous harbor from the Tea Party."

Buffy turned to look at Faith and could see the walls coming up, shutters locking tight behind brown eyes. She wanted to reach over and squeeze her girlfriend's hand, but they hadn't exactly defined their relationship yet. Instead she settled for scribbling a quick note and tossing it on Faith's desk before asking to be excused from class.

Less than five minutes later the girls met up in their supply closet of choice, the door closed and locked behind them. Buffy could feel the tension coming off of the brunette in waves. Faith was looking anywhere but at Buffy, clenching and unclenching her fists leaving half-moon indents in the soft flesh of her palms. Buffy placed a gentle hand on Faiths quivering arm. "Hon, it's alright. We don't have to go."

"It's a school event. Mandatory cuz of Joyce's rules."

"Well, we can just explain why you can't go. I can still take the trip if it's important to her."

"NO! You can't tell her anything, Buffy. It's bad enough that you know so much about my life already. I can't have her look at me knowing what's hidden beneath my leathers. And you will absolutely NOT go to Boston on your own."

"Faith, I will not divulge your secrets to my mom. But I think she would understand. And I'm a slayer, nothing can hurt me… except for demons and vamps and other creepy crawlers."

"Yeah well, I'm a slayer too. Lot of good it did me." Faith mumbled.

Tired of arguing, Buffy leaned over and pressed her lips to Faith's. At first the other girl didn't respond, too focused on her inner turmoil. Eventually though, Buffy's lips pressed roughly against hers and Buffy's fingers lightly trailing across the skin exposed between her belt and her shirt brought Faith out of her own mind. She kissed Buffy back desperately seeking the love, reassurance and patience she was starting to realize was always available to her. As long as she had Buffy with her, Boston wouldn't win this time.

The flight to Boston was uneventful aside from Faith trying to score some whiskey from one of the flight attendants. It took her several times to realize that her charms were completely lost on the very gay guy. Sighing with (almost) mock disappointment, she resigned herself to the in-flight movie.

"Wanna join the mile high club blondie?" Faith asked, only half kidding. But she already knew the answer. They hadn't gone further than fumbling and groping mostly above clothes, and Faith was starting to find herself desperate to relieve the ache between her thighs.

"I don't know about the mile high club, but we could join the romantic interlude in a hotel club." Buffy joked lightly before planting a sweet kiss on Faith's cheek.

"I can live with that B." Faith answered knowing that they were sharing a hotel room if not a bed.

By the time they landed in Boston Faith had eaten both their shares of airline peanuts, and all of the candy she had stashed in her carry on. Her nails had been chewed down to the quick and she had worn a hole on the inner thigh of her pants from the friction of bouncing her slayer powered legs up and down. While Buffy had napped, Faith had stayed awake ordering coffee and soda from the stewardess repeatedly.

As they were walking from the plane to baggage claim Faith was so jittery that she was practically crawling out of her skin. Buffy placed a soothing hand on the dark slayer's arm, trying to lend her silent support and strength. No matter how well she faked it, Buffy knew this was incredibly difficult for Faith.

While Buffy was busy worrying about her, Faith had made her way over to the baggage carousel shouldering a few disgruntled travelers out of her way in the process. At the sound of shouting Buffy's head shot up. Faith was standing toe to toe with a very pissed off soccer mom. All she could hear was something about "snot nosed brats". Buffy ran over, grabbed Faith by the arm and physically dragged her towards the exit.

"Faith, I know this is hard but you really need to chill. You can't take your baggage out on the general public." Buffy thought she sounded very reasonable.

"Chill!? You want me to chill when they're out there somewhere, just waiting to get their hands on me again!" Faith screamed stalking away from her girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend maybe after this trip.

Shaking her head, Buffy quickly caught up to Faith and folded the other girl into her arms, tightening her grip as she struggled. This was so reminiscent of their shared dream several weeks ago that Buffy said the only thing she could. "I know you lived this. I know I can't change it. But I also know that you have me now, and _no one_ can hurt you again."

With those words Faith stopped struggling and allowed Buffy to lead her to the bus that would bring them to their hotel. She was practically catatonic upon their arrival, only getting up and heading off the bus with prodding from Buffy.

Once alone in their room Buffy sat Fait on the bed and bent down to untie the other girls boots. She removed the shoes, then Faith's well-worn leathers. Standing up she pushed Faith's jacket from her shoulders and flung it to the floor. She removed her own shoes, pants and jacket before gently laying Faith down on the bed. The girl curled onto her side in a protective stance. Buffy lay down on the bed beside her touching their foreheads together and laying her arm across Faith's waist.

She concentrated on her breathing, taking deep even breaths slowly exhaling sweet warm air across Faith's face. Buffy's hand began to trace soothing circles over the tank top covered side and ribcage. She felt Faith slowly relaxing under her touch.

"I don't want to be this scared little girl anymore B. I don't want to be trapped in that bed under his weight, smelling his breath. I don't want to keep feeling the bottle breaking across my skin and her belt across my back. I need you to take it away."

Placing a gentle kiss on Faith's pouty lips Buffy asked "Are you sure Faith?"

Making eye contact for the first time, chocolate eyes seared into emerald, "I need you Buffy.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Sexy times ahead. Mild references to abuse, rape.

**Chapter 7**

Momentarily overwhelmed by the love and trust reflected in Faith's gaze, Buffy held her breath for several seconds. Faith interrupted her moment of panic by kissing the tip of her nose and giggling. "Damn B, I can smell the rubber burning over here. Stop thinking about it and just do what feels right."

Buffy surged forward her lips colliding with Faith's in an age old dance. She hooked her leg over Faith's hips and flipped her onto her back, the only thing separating them were two thin pairs of cotton panties which were quickly soaking through. Moaning, Buffy ground her hips down seeking some relief for her building need. She leaned over and peppered kisses down Faith's neck, across her shoulders, dipping her tongue into the depression at the base of Faith's throat.

Faith's hands were wandering from Buffy's naked thighs to her cotton clad ass, lightly scratching and squeezing as she went. Running her fingers under the hem of Buffy's tank top Faith's fingers danced over taught muscles causing the other girl to quiver. Growling, Faith ripped the shirt from the blonde's body leaving her in just her panties and pale pink bra.

Faith felt like the breath was literally stolen from her chest as she pushed the bra from Buffy's body. The blonde slayer sat above her, pale skin glowing, the picture of perfection. She gasped as Buffy ground down into her pelvis the motion jiggling stunning tits. The dark slayer ran her hands up Buffy's belly, briefly dipping into an adorable belly button. She captured already hardening nipples in lightly calloused fingers, pinching and rolling them just on the right side of pain. The noises coming from above her confirmed that her sister slayer was enjoying herself.

Buffy grabbed a handful of Faith's tank top in her less than coordinated hands. "Off now!" she growled. Faith shifted so that she was sitting up on the bed, Buffy still in her lap, and pulled the top over her head. Normally she didn't do topless, didn't care to show her scars to the nameless body in her bed. But this was Buffy, and she had already seen so much of Faith's soul what did a few scars matter. Briefly she squeezed her eyes shut, steeling herself to be scrutinized.

Buffy felt the change in Faith, felt the muscles stiffen under her, felt the subtle quivering and the deep intake of breath. That's when she remembered that she was here for Faith, not just to get off. She cradled the beautiful face in her hands tracing delicate brows, rubbing her thumbs across high cheek bones, willing the girl she loved to open her eyes. Her wish was granted when brown orbs, glassy with unshed tears, looked into hers.

"Faith, you're beautiful, so perfect." She breathed. Placing her hand flat over Faith's heart, she gently pushed the other girl flat to the mattress. That's when she got her first good look at Faith's very naked torso. Her breasts were gorgeous, olive skin accented by slightly darker nipples already hardening in the slightly cool air of the hotel room. Each breast was adorned with several long arching scars starting at Faith's armpits and ending between her breasts on her sternum. Buffy ran soft finger tips over the lines, followed by her lips and tongue.

As she absorbed the different textures of the skin and scars on Faith's chest, breasts and nipples, Buffy also absorbed small bursts of memory from Faith. She felt the loneliness, the pain and self-loathing. She felt as the blade pressed into virgin flesh for the first of many cuts. Tears fell from Faith's eyes as Buffy experienced these memories and only looked back at her with love. She continued tracing a path down Faith's war torn torso, bared to her in complete trust.

A thick pink scar lay in wait for her under Faith's left breast, as her tongue explored its ridges Buffy was given another memory. This time there was a heavy weight on top of her, searing pain between her legs and the feel of cold steel pressed into her ribs. Buffy couldn't help the sob that escaped from between her kiss swollen lips this time. She looked up from the beautiful body under her and tried to meet Faith's eyes, which were staring blankly at the wall.

She crawled back up Faith's body, leaving open mouthed kisses in a hot trail in her wake. Look at me Faith. I need you here with me for this." She pressed her body along the length of naked flesh laid out before her, tracing lazy circles up and down the hot skin. She was willing to wait, to have Faith come back to her, however long it took.

Eventually Faith's face turned to hers of its own accord. Eyes met in silent understanding, and lips came together once again. Buffy settled her weight on top of Faith, propping herself up on her left arm and gazing down at the beautiful girl below her. Pressing her lips to Faith's, Buffy snaked her right hand down between their bodies, her fingers seeking hot flesh. She gently parted the wet folds, teasing the hard bundle of nerves that was already so hard for her. Buffy was amazed by how wet Faith was, her juices coating Buffy's fingers.

Making eye contact with her soon to be lover, Buffy slowly inserted her pointer finger knuckle deep into Faith, stretching her tight walls, waiting for her to acclimate to the intrusion. "You know I love you, right Faith?"

All Faith could do was nod, too choked up to vocalize the depth of her feeling for the blonde. Buffy took the nod for what it was - an invitation to continue. She slid out of the dark slayer, until all that was left inside was the very tip of her finger. She added her middle finger and immediately thrust in to the hilt. Never looking away from the roiling emotions behind dark eyes Buffy quickly found her pace, thrusting and twisting into Faith's wet heat. Faith's hips slammed up into her hand, meeting her thrust for thrust. Fingers dug almost painfully into Buffy's hips as Faith tried to ground herself in the moment.

Memories, flashed through Buffy's mind. Some of it was so horrible she felt ill, but she knew that if Faith had lived it, the least she could do was help to carry the burden. She dipped her head down, capturing a dusky nipple between her teeth. Gently biting down, and then soothing away the sting with the flat of her tongue. Faith groaned her approval. Her fingers scrabbled for purchase, nails scratching down Buffy's back, only to end up back on her hips leaving bruises before finally tangling in the sheets. Faith's tempo increased, her breathing erratic, soft keening sounds coming from behind clenched teeth. Dark eyes locked with green, inner walls clenching hard enough to break bone. Faith screamed soundlessly as she came.

"I love you too Buffy." She whispered as her head fell back into the pillow. She pulled the full weight of Buffy down on top of her, wrapping her arms around narrow shoulders and her legs around equally narrow hips. Somehow Buffy had taken a little bit of Faith's pain with each kiss, lick and nibble. She had given Faith back some of the innocence she had lost with each sure thrust of her slender fingers. And now, she felt truly safe pinned beneath the slight weight of her fair haired savior.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: It's Buffy's turn. No real plot here. Just smut. Next chapter we get back on track and the slayers begin their field trip in Boston.  
**

**Chapter 8**

The girls woke in the same position they had fallen asleep in. Faith began to stir under Buffy, not used to the feeling of a warm body in her bed the morning after. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as her hands began delicately tracing the muscles of Buffy's back. She could feel sleep slackened muscles begin to twitch under her touch, hips reflexively rolling down into her already warm pelvis. "Good morning gorgeous" Faith sighed into Buffy's mouth as their lips came together in a gentle caress.

Faith's tongue flicked across Buffy's full bottom lip, the blonde moaned granting Faith full access to her warm and willing mouth. After thoroughly exploring each other, the brunette pulled away simultaneously locking eyes with her lover and flipping them over, effectively trapping the blonde under her weight. "Sorry I passed out on you last night B. You were just so damn good. This morning though, it's my turn."

Waggling her eyebrows Faith descended on the long column of pale throat exposed to her. She kissed her way down to an erratic pulse point, quickly biting down on tender flesh then smoothing her tongue over the reddening skin. Buffy groaned and dug her nails into taught ass cheeks, scratching a fiery path up Faith's back. The dark slayer continued her maddening path down exposed flesh, peppering the pale skin with nibbles and kisses. She wrapped her tongue around a straining pink nipple and Buffy's nails found a new home digging into her shoulder blades. Smiling around her hardening prize Faith continued to treat the most perfect breast she had ever seen like a piece of hard candy.

Above her Buffy growled in frustration. Realizing she had been neglecting the other breast, Faith brought her hand up roughly palming palming the entire mound before zeroing in on a second perfect pink prize. Buffy moaned her appreciation of the additional attention as she ground her pelvis into Faith's abdomen desperately seeking release. Faith began crawling down the light slayers body, drinking in her beauty as she went.

Faith finally reached her destination, pushing Buffy's knees apart to reveal a glistening mound. She leaned down running her nose just above pale curls. "Faith! What… what are you doing?" Buffy gasped.

"Well B, I'm gonna taste you." Faith grinned wickedly and leaned down running her tongue up Buffy's wet slit. Buffy tried to close her legs, desperately uncomfortable with the intimacy of this act. Faith gently pried Buffy's thighs from around her ears and looked up at the blushing slayer. "Buffy, I really want to taste you. There's nothing to be nervous about. If you don't like it, just say so and I'll stop."

"Isn't that… I don't know, gross?"

Faith sat up and slid her fingers across her own throbbing core. She raised the glistening digits to show Buffy who was staring at her wide eyed. "No. It's turning me on so much to be this close to your beautiful pussy. How could anything this sexy be gross?" She gently slid her fingers into Buffy's mouth. Hesitating for only a moment, the blonde wrapped her lips around the sensual offering. It wasn't what she thought at all. Faith tasted salty and sweet at the same time, and she liked it. Buffy began sucking in earnest, cleaning Faith's juices off of her own fingers.

The suction was almost too much, Faith growled extracting her fingers from their warm home. "No, this is about me making you feel good. Don't get me so distracted!" She laughed. Settling herself back between Buffy's thighs Faith once again ran her tongue up the now drenched slit. She paused at the tight little bundle of nerves wrapping her lips around it and sucking lightly.

Buffy could barely restrain herself, and if Faith hadn't had slayer strength she would have been bucked off of the bed. She continued her gentle, slick exploration of Buffy's core, snaking her tongue into the folds and nibbling her labia. She could feel Buffy tensing, quivering on the edge of release. She brought her lips and tongue back up to the exquisite clit and focused her attentions. Just as Buffy started to clench she slid one slender digit inside all the way to the knuckle. That was all it took, the blonde threw back her head and screamed her release, fingers digging into Faith's shoulders hard enough to bruise and tangling in dark brown curls dragging Faith back up to her mouth.

She kissed Faith roughly, tasting herself on someone's lips for the first time and loving every second of it. Faith smiled into the kiss and began slowly moving her finger back and forth against the blonde's swollen g-spot causing Buffy to growl and pull Faith closer.

"I want… I need, more of you Faith."

"Are you sure, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm sure. I love you Faith, I know you won't hurt me."

That was all it took to break the brunette's careful hold on her will power. She pulled her finger from Buffy's tight pussy and quickly thrust back in with two. She set a hard and fast pace Buffy's hips rising to meet her at ever stroke.

"More Faith. I want you to fill me."

Locking eyes her brown eyes onto Buffy's green, Faith slowly added a third digit watching the blonde's face for any signs of distress. Just as she could tell the pleasure was beginning to border on pain for the chosen one Faith was transported to a different place.

_She was in Buffy's room and it was dark. The only light came from the full moon shining in through the window. Her eyes traveled to the bed where Angel was hovering above Buffy thrusting deeply into virgin territory. A single tear trailed down the blonde's cheek. "I love you Angel" she said softly grimacing through the pain._

_In the space of a heartbeat Faith was in the alley outside the Bronze. Angelus was pressed up against Buffy's back, fangs out and scraping against exposed throat. Faith could feel the pain rolling off of her sister slayer in waves. She could see thighs clenched together, trying to squeeze away the lingering soreness from the night before. This time tears rolled freely down her face as she cried, "I love you Angel."_

Suddenly Faith was back in the present, eyes still locked on Buffy's face which was now turned away from her in shame. She removed her third finger from the tight trembling sheath of skin, and she began to slowly rock in and out while lightly fluttering the two remaining digits. At the same time, she began kissing her way up Buffy's neck across her jaw and over to frowning lips. She licked the salty tears that had pooled in the corner of her lover's mouth before placing a gentle love filled kiss in the same spot.

"Look at me B." The blonde turned her head towards Faith, looking anywhere but into her eyes. Faith quickly pecked Buffy on the lips. "Come on B, really look at me." Sighing Buffy gave in and made eye contact. "I love you Buffy. I love you so much it scares me. I love everything about you, and I'm not going anywhere." Smiling she resumed her thrusting, her grin growing larger as Buffy's body couldn't help but respond. Buffy's inner walls began to spasm, her hips rose off the bed with the power of her answering thrusts. She held Faith impossibly tighter as she screamed "Oh god, Faith. FUCK. I'm coming."

And she did, she came hard constricting around Faith's fingers like she would never release her hold. Hands scrambling for purchase against sweat soaked skin. Chest heaving with erratic breaths. This time when she cried, it was tears of joy. "I love you too Faith. I love you so much."


End file.
